Fighting for Change

     I never gave the A&E television show "Duck Dynasty' a chance. I generalized it along with all other "country-like" television shows that are becoming all the rage. I just thought that the show was a reality television show of some sort that followed this family who got rich off of duck calls and now have their own show to talk about it. I'm sure that many of you are in the same boat as me, and I'm also sure that many of you are no where near being in the same boat as me. Now, I'm not writing this blog to bash Duck Dynasty, the Robertson family, or the faithful viewers and lovers of the show. I'm just sharing how I feel about the current situation that has gotten everybody up in arms: Phil Robertson's comment. I figured with all of the fuss going on on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and even Tumblr, I might as well educate myself about who Phil is and what he stands for and why everyone is either hating him or loving him right now.

     I watched a couple of episodes of Duck Dynasty and thought that it was a good show. I have nothing bad to say about it, and I did enjoy most of it while I watched it. I wanted to have a good mindset about the show when I decided to do some research on the current issue at hand. I began to watch multiple videos online of the comment that Phil made that got everyone's panties in a bunch, and I proceeded to watch and read more articles about his response to A&E's "suspending" of him on their television show. I can't say that I am surprised at the outcome of what happened, it's something that we can't be overwhelmingly distraught or upset about, but I found that I really appreciated how Phil responded to the never-ending attack of media-dogs hungering for his "plans to take back what was his" or "fight A&E's control of his show".

     I found myself watching a documentary video, about 37 minutes long, all about Phil and his wife's history before the show and before the company. Phil talks all about his college life: alcohol, neglect, poor decisions everywhere on his part, as well as his wife's unconditional love for him and his children that she was taking care of at the time. Phil talked about his conversion to giving his life to Christ and how that changed his life completely, as we all see now. I just now finished watching another video that was taken at a conference that Phil spoke at in California; the title of this video was "Phil Robertson Talks About Why His Country Needs More Jesus". Now, if I had seen this title before I did all of my research, I would have moved on, thinking that it was another dumb Duck Dynasty fanatic's video. But now that I have gotten to know who Phil is and what he stands for, I decided to watch it, at least the beginning.

     Phil tells a story about how he had the opportunity to convert and baptize a man that he had shared a conversation with over the telephone when the man had called to buy a duck call. He had called the buyer out on his excessive use of the Lord's name in vain and had challenged the caller to come over to his home to hear the Gospel of Jesus. Weeks later, there was a knock on the door and behold, the man who had called Phil was at Phil's doorstep along with one of his friends, waiting to hear what Phil had to say. After bringing tears out of the two men, Phil baptized them in a river by his home and sent them off. At the end of telling that story at the conference, Phil said this quote, "It doesn't matter to me what you say about me. It doesn't matter if you tell me that you hate me, that you don't like me, or that you can't stand the sight of me, I will love you, just as I had loved that man who wanted to buy a simple duck call and received salvation instead."

     No matter what I think or what anyone else thinks, Phil Robertson is a man that is fighting to spread Christ's love on this earth. If you or I think that his television show is stupid, it doesn't change the fact that is heart is where all other believer's hearts should be, and that is fighting to change the world for Christ.

Pondering My Future

     I absolutely love writing. I love pouring out my thoughts and what I think about on this blog, but I feel like I've been limiting myself with this blog due to what I originally wanted it to be. I told myself when I created this blog that it was going to be a place for me to store my notes strictly for spiritual studies and the like, but because I told myself that, I feel like it has limited what I've been willing to post on this blog. I look at it now and how far I have come as a blogger and a writer and a follower, and I am utterly satisfied to say the least; now I want to open myself up a little more, in this blog and in my mind. There is so much that I think about and that I would love to write about, but I feel like this blog isn't the place for that. Now, however, I am going to dedicate this blog to everything that flows through my mind that I want to share, ranging from anything that I see is classified as "good enough" to be written about. I hope for those of you have read my blog in the past or are continuous readers can find this blog as a place to see what's going on in my mind that may go on in your mind, or just something to kill time with. I'll write a little something down below that has been going through my mind as an initiate "blog post".

     As I get older and my future becomes more serious to me, I start thinking about careers, as any normal college student does. I don't sit here and meditate on the one that I feel like God has called me to, but I start to think about everything. Aside from going to Bible College to earn a pastoral ministry degree, I ponder of other careers that I feel like would be so interesting and exciting to journey on that I have never thought of before. I'm not saying that what I feel like God has called me to do is wrong at all, I'm just letting my mind explore the many options that there are. One thing that has been sticking in my mind is being a freelance writer. I never would have thought myself as someone who would consider this, but the more I look into it and see the people who have succeeded from doing it, I feel like it would be such a fun job. I can imagine myself writing for a popular blog that I love reading, like Gizmodo for example, and just enjoying every minute of seeing what's out there in the world for me to write about and share with my audience. Who knows, but the more I think about my skills and what I could use them for that would bring glory as well as enjoyment, the more I find myself wanting to see what the future holds.

All I can do is wait.

World Views

     I am currently enrolled in a Biblical Leadership class in Bible College. We've been going over a lot of personal reflection assignments and have been taking assessments that give us a more open view of who we are and what our strengths and weaknesses are. Today in class, we went over different world views on different theological and philosophical topics. God, life, history, and humanity. 

     One of the world views my group went over was Nihilism. For those of you that don't know, Nihilism is the Negative Nancy of world views. They believe that life is meaningless, there is no god, history has no importance, life is absurd and ultimately, death is absurd. As my group and I went over this view and its beliefs, I got to thinking about myself and my own personal views.

     What are my own views? What would others classify me as? What system of beliefs do I follow that categorize me?

     I've concluded that I don't belong to a view or theology. I don't want to limit myself. I feel like if I label myself as a "pre millennialist" or "post millennialist" or something of that sort, then I immediately am allowing myself to be subject to that theology's system of beliefs, which I don't want.

     I firmly believe in having your own faith, your own beliefs, and your own theology. You can pull beliefs out of different theologies, but ultimately you learn what you believe by studying the Word and drawing conclusions from interpretation. Don't devote yourself to an author, or a theology, or a church father, or a doctrine. Open your mind and create for yourself your own belief system; after all, beliefs are beliefs, not facts. Our beliefs won't matter in the end. We're more than likely all wrong, and I'm okay with that.

Timing

     Tonight I was having a conversation with one my band members in my RA's room. We were talking about our girlfriends and how we both need to be working on patience. We conversed about how we need to use the fruits of the Spirit to show love in areas that we need to work on that we have a hard time showing love through. We both share patience as a common ground with something that we have a hard time showing love through. As we sat on the bed talking about all of this, we both asked the other to pray for his need of patience. He then asked me if I wanted to pray right now. The room was full of other dudes playing mario and was no peaceful place to share a prayer. But, pushing aside the current setting we were in, we decided to pray about it. He prayed first and then I closed the prayer after him.

     In his portion of the prayer, he asked God to present both of us with opportunities to show patience and to learn to have patience through these opportunities. Literally tonight, no longer than an hour after that prayer, I was given an opportunity when listening to a friend reconcile with me. This was the first time in a very long time that The Lord answered one of my prayers almost immediately after it was asked. I was expecting something to come up in the next day or sometime this week or even next week, but no, I was given an opportunity tonight. I am so thankful for the God that I love and serve.

The Downward Path

I find myself getting jealous easily.

     I don't know what it is. It's not over items. I don't see something I want that someone else has and get these emotions of jealousy and covet. I don't want items or toys or gadgets or any fancy things. It doesn't bother me if people have things that I don't.

     It's not jealousy over items or physical goods. It's like an emotional jealousy. People spending time with one another that I wish I had. I get jealous of the quality time that people share. I want that. I don't care what shoes you're wearing or what car you're driving or the newest game that you have. I want to spend time with that person that you're spending time with and it gets me jealous, and I let it take over my emotions and it gets out of hand. It can ruin my day. It can ruin my night. It can ruin my weekend. It can ruin a conversation or a text message. It can ruin my attitude and how I feel, for however long I let it. I try to stop it, I try to get it out of my head, but it sits there, making itself home and I can't do a thing about it.

     I realize that it isn't good and that it's something that I need to work on. I don't know how to work on it though. Whenever it comes I have no preparation and I don't know how to handle it. Instead of combatting it I let it stay there and take over my entire emotional state. I don't tell anyone about it because I like to say that I'm fine and that nothing is wrong, that things are okay. But I don't feel okay.

     There is no happy ending or resolution that I have for this blog like I do normally for the rest, just venting and trying to figure myself out.

     P.S. Sometimes you just need to sit in peace and receive assurance from a loved one to make things better.

Numbers

     Currently I am sitting in the back of a youth group in Manhattan, Kansas. The speaker right now is an RA at my college, named Joe. I'm sitting alongside four other musicans who joined together to play worship for this youth group. As I sit here and listen to Joe's message, I start to think about the size of the youth group. 

     I come from a mega church in Phoenix, Arizona called Christ's Church of the Valley. The average youth size for junior high is a total of somewhere near 700. The high school group is even bigger. They had 2,100 high-schoolers go to CIY, a church camp, this past summer. The group is huge.

     This group that I am here with now is maybe around 50. Not even. All high-schoolers. It blows my mind. I can't fathom a youth group of smaller than 100 people, even. At first thought, I don't see this group as a "youth group" because of my background. But I realize that this is normal for them. This is big for them. This is a giant youth group. And honestly, if you measure their hearts, it is a big youth group. Incredibly huge. They are all here for one reason: Christ. And at the end of the day, that's all that matters. The number of people isn't what's important, that shouldn't be your drive or your purpose; but the hearts of your disciples should be what makes you want to be here. You should be inspired to fill hearts, not chairs, and that's something I'm coming to realize.   

Aging

     Over the past month I have been visiting and nursing home with a group of people form my college once a week. We go to the home, sing a few songs with an acoustic guitar for them, and then continue to go about and talk with all of them to the best of our ability. 

     The past few times I've gone, I've only talked to one man int he home, Carl. He's in his late 70's and holds conversation great. He wanted to go into the army, but when the doctor told him he had a heart murmur, he went off and became a painter. He broke his foot and knocked himself out by hitting a pole when he was riding his bike home one time. He likes Michael Jordan. He really enjoys watching the Kansas City Chiefs play football. He went to Kansas State University for one semester and dropped out because of expenses. He has three sons and two brothers, one older and one younger. He loves the fall and watching the leaves fall down from the trees. His mom always loved the white snow, and it made him fond of winter as well. He used to go to a Catholic church when he was younger, one that he painted when he was working as a painter. He likes to make meat loaf for the rest of the residents in the nursing home.

     As I got to know Carl, I got to thinking about my own life. "Will anyone want to listen to my stories when I'm old and sick? Will anyone care enough to visit me at least once a week? Will I be interesting enough for people to want to listen to me?"

     When I grow old like Carl, I want to be able to have stories and lessons. I want to be able to share what my life has taught me; I want people to care enough to listen to my stories, no matter how boring or how repetitive. Listening to Carl and getting to know all about his life makes me want someone to do the same thing for me when I'm in his position later down the road. I want to give Carl what I want given to me. I want him to know that there is someone on this earth who cares about his life and lessons.

Distance

     I never thought that distance would be a good thing. I always thought that distance ruined things, that it only brought stress and tension to things that were once not-so-far-apart. I thought distance would be impossible, that it would only make my life harder than it already was. I thought long distance relationships were only in movies. I thought that they never really existed, and if they did, they didn't last. I never would have seen myself greeting distance with open and welcoming arms like I did one month ago.

     What I have found out is that distance depends on the heart. I always thought that I would never meet someone or something worth working through distance for. I considered it a waste of time. However, when you do find that something or someone worth doing distance for, distance only becomes the key unlocking the gate to progress.

     Sure, it's challenging, and at times it even sucks. It's easy to be emotionally connected to someone especially when you're also sharing a physical connection. But when you're 1500 miles away and can only rely on emotional and verbal connection, things get tricky. I needed to change my heart in order to make things work. I needed to create an even more selfless lifestyle. I needed to pursue harder than I ever had. I needed to relearn how to pursue someone, essentially. Through all of the learning and adapting and trying, I can safely and proudly say that all of it is worth it.

     The saying, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder" is nothing far from the absolute truth. The love and care I have now is far stronger than the love and care I would have if I still lived back home. It would be easier to still be home, but being here has given me such a strong sense of appreciation for who I have back home.

     Every letter, every word, every text, every FaceTime, every picture, every goodnight and good morning message is beyond worth it, for someone far beyond my dreams. In my situation, distance is allowing love to grow where doubt used to be.

Reminders

     There was a changing moment for me today, right when I woke up. There is a quote floating around that was said by Henry Ward Beecher that goes along the lines of, "The first hour of the morning is the rudder of the day."Ever since hearing this quote, I decided to test out the validity of this quote the past couple of mornings, but this morning in particular made me realize just how true Henry's quote was.

     As some may know, I have a few tattoos. As most of you do know, tattoos are permanent and you'd have to go way out of your way to drastic terms in order to remove a tattoo. I wanted the tattoos that I have to serve as reminders for me. They have stories behind them, but I didn't want to get a tattoo that only meant something to me for a short period of my life, rather I wanted the certain tattoo so that it would serve me in a positive way the rest of my life. The tattoos that I have are intended to be personal, daily reminders to me, that are for the most part hidden from the public. They have been "reminders" to me in the past, but this morning they almost spoke to me. Almost as if a clear voice was speaking in my head through the stories on my body.

     The cross on my ankle. My first tattoo and story. It is not just some cross I had my friend tattoo on me, but it became a reminder of my foundation. Friends are not my foundation. Family is not my foundation. Good times are not my foundation. Tattoos are not my foundation. Items and belongings are not my foundation. My spiritual and emotional foundation is found on the cross. The cross being on my physical foundation, my foot. When I look down and see it, I remember who I'm living for and why.

     The Greek word Méinate in my arm. The Greek word "méinate" comes form the passage in John 15:4 where Jesus tells His disciples that he is the vine, and in order for His disciples to bear fruit, they must remain within Him, the one true vine. This Greek word has the meaning "to abide or remain within a source that provides life." I've learned that remaining is not only a daily thing, but it's a lifetime commitment. You can't remain if you aren't in the vine in the first place. Remaining is a command that we can only fulfill by dying a Christian; dying a believer in Jesus Christ. If we quit halfway through our life, we didn't remain. When I see this word, I'm reminded to never give up, to never quit, and to pursue The Lord always.

     The face of the Lion on my thigh. My most recent tattoo. It is not complete, as there is still to be a lamb placed on my left thigh. These combined create the transformation of Christ. Isaiah 53:7 portrays Christ as the Lamb, the Lamb going to the slaughter. The Lamb offering Himself for His people. All throughout Jesus' life, He served others. He was the sacrificial Lamb stated in Isaiah. In Revelation, we see Jesus as the Lion. He is no longer the sacrifice, but the leader. The authority. The glorious One. He comes back stronger and with power over all of the world. He didn't get there easily though. He died, served, and sacrificed with His life that he had here on earth. In order to reach the Lion, we must live the Lamb.

     These stood out to me this morning. All throughout my morning I was reliving each story and reminding myself the meanings behind each and every one of them. My morning today was shaped by these stories, and I plan on having a day filled with joy and servitude to others. Don't let a morning last a minute, live in awe and peace in your mornings, that your days made be made right.

The Judging Game Part 2

     When moving to a new place, you will more than likely meet new people, and if you don't think so, then I'm sorry to have burst your bubble, but you will. You'll meet people from different cultures, religious backgrounds, traditions, environments, families, beliefs, and so on. In my current situation, I am adapting to the people in this new area. I'm the one who is considered a foreigner here, or a "Zonie" as they call me because I'm from Arizona. I'm the one with the accent because I'm not from Kansas or anywhere in the midwest for that matter. I'm the one with the odd taste buds and weird food combinations. I'm different.

     This isn't bad. Actually, none if this is bad. If anything, it can turn into something really really good. Meeting new people and learning all about them and their lifestyle can radically change your life and open your mind. This rarely happens though. Almost all of the time, when we meet new people or adapt to a new area with new people, we judge. Almost always, we judge. We don't care enough to drop what we are bringing in this culture with us in order to learn about other people. Instead, we use what we have with us to judge people against our way of life. We compare them to what we consider normal. I experienced this in the past three weeks here at college.

     I met a student here, a freshman like myself, during my first week. Tall, handsome, athletic and musical. He has it all. Rather than lowering my judgmental defenses though, I raised my judgmental weapons and took aim. Based on the way he talked about himself, his church, his friends, his talents, and his family, I immediately had shots being fired from my judgmental weapons. I hardly knew him and yet I had already shot through him multiple times with judgment and learned to dislike him to a point of almost hating everything he did and said.

     Imagine that. Within a matter of a week, someone who I had never met before was already classified by me as someone I did not like. I never even gave him a chance. But, through some work of God it seemed like, things changed.

     My roommates and I leave our dorm room unlocked when we are in the room for anyone to come in as they please and talk or hangout with us. A couple of days ago the three of us were in our room playing XBOX when our dorm room door swung open to, you know it, the freshman who I had judged. He came in and sat right down and began to just talk with us. Immediately I was ticked, not wanting to deal with anything he was going to do or wanting to listen to anything he was going to say. I really did not want him here. But, something happened.

     I was playing guitar when he came in. Nothing special, just an acoustic guitar and I was randomly playing some chords. After a couple of seconds had passed, he began to sing along to the song I was silently playing. I wasn't singing at all, but for some strange reason he knew the song and immediately picked it up. He was singing along with my playing and we got so into it that we had our entire room singing it loud and all. Afterwards we were all laughing and enjoying what had just happened through music, and I began to realize how wrong I was about him. I realized I had wronged him and made a terrible mistake of judging his every trait and quality. In the midst of my judgement, I missed his desire to play music with me and get to know me and be my friend. My judgement ruined what could have been a great start to a friendship.

     It's hard not to judge. Clearly I just wrote about the ease I had judging that fellow friend of mine. It's easy to judge and paint a picture of someone's life for them in your mind. It's easy to hate someone rather than learning to love them, but it ruins friendships and relationships. Because of my swiftness to judge him I lacked the one thing we are all called to do, and that's love. I was too busy hating everything about him instead of searching for things to love about him. He gives me high fives, hugs, hand shakes, encouragement, positivity, and the desire to play more music with him. My judgement, if held onto, would have hidden all of these things from me. I was taught something so important within the first two weeks of school: having judgment over love as a foundation for a friendship will only leave you hating somebody for who they're not rather than loving them for who they are.

Goodbye

     I've always known that this day would come, the day when goodbye is no longer able to be procrastinated and must be said and heard. As much as I wanted to believe it was so far away, all along it was right at my doorstep, waiting for the invite into the home of my speech. Up until now, goodbye has always been a memory of sadness. There has never been a case where "goodbye" left a great memory in my mind. Contrary to what I believed, goodbye is a lot more than a mopey word that leaves unhappy feelings.

     Goodbye brings out the true and genuine feelings. Feelings of sadness, feelings of joy, and old feelings that you reminisce with others. Goodbye shows you true friends and worst enemies. It's something that none of want to say but somehow end up finding it anxiously waiting on the tip of our tongue.

     Tonight, goodbye came as something I never experienced before. Goodbye did not show up on my doorstep in its suit of sadness as it had in the past, rather, it let itself in with a coat of hope and crown of love. The goodbyes I gave tonight did not leave me with feelings of sadness and depression as I had thought. Though I felt sad saying goodbye, tonight's goodbyes were hopeful. I looked into the eyes of three loved ones tonight. Through tears and sparkles in their eyes, I was able to see further down the road. I was able to see past the temporary sadness tears would leave me, and I saw the joy of being with these people in the future. Promises, oaths, thank you's, and torch hand-offs.

     I looked into the eyes of a brother with trust as he took my place. I looked into the eyes of a mentor with gratitude as he sent me off. I looked into the eyes of a loved one with love and hope as we exchanged what wouldn't be the last hug. Even as I type this emotions are taking hold of my eyes, but I still see the trust, gratitude, love and hope of tonight's goodbye.

This is not the end. This is not goodbye. This is not the last.

This is hope. This is love. This is trust.

A new chapter awaits me.

MR; JS; DW

Who's Approval?

     Who am I trying to live for? To whom am I trying to prove myself? Who's approval do I really care about? Who am I trying to impress? Who is receiving my life?

     I've been hit with these questions in this morning's reading. They caused a convicting feeling in my stomach, and have forced me to reflect on my life and how I've been living it.

     I've always been a person who, when I'm around people I'm comfortable with, enjoys making others laugh. I want people to be happy. I try not to be cynical about things, though I am, and I try the most part to be a person who people want to like. So far, I've always thought that there was nothing wrong with this. I figured if I can be a lovable person who brings happiness, that is something that would allow people to see Jesus. As time went on though, I slowly lost myself in trying to win approvals, rather than trying to make others laugh.

     The Apostle Paul writes to the Galatians early in his letter that he is trying to win Christ's approval. He says that if he was still trying to win the approval of men, then he wouldn't be a servant of Christ (Galatians 1:10). "Is that what I've been doing? Haven't I just been trying to make people laugh so that they could like me? What effort have I put in to receive The Lord's approval?" Thoughts raced through my head as I realized what I've been doing the past couple of months. I have realized that I needed to change.

     There is a happy balance though. Living for the approval of God does not mean disregard the hearts of those around you, you just have to check where your allegiance is at. Christ preached hope and love. Loving others and being a light of joy and hope is the life we ought to live. It's in living that life that we must remember that it's Christ who is our source and leader. It's Him who we must come back to, no one else. 

     I've realized that there is One who deserves my life to be lived for Him. My wanting of being able to be a happy and peaceful person is possible, I just can't let my passion for approval travel to anyone else other than Christ Himself.

Times

     I've had some pretty eventful summers in my time. I've gone on great vacations and have played music with the best of musicians and have seen the most beautiful of sights and read the most knowledgable of books and have spent time with the nicest of people. No summer, however, has been quite like this one.

     Rather than seeing, saying, touching, experiencing, and playing things, I've been feeling things. I've been taught numerous things. I've gone through situations this summer that changed me and opened my eyes. I've learned not things that are good for the brain, but good for the heart. I learned about myself and who I am, not who I want to be like. 

     Among these things I've learned, the biggest is who a friend is. I've lost many, many friends. I've been betrayed many, many times. I never expected my last summer in Phoenix to be like this one. I was hoping for parties, hangouts, quality times, and adventures. Not alone times, sit arounds, hurtful times, and naps. As much as these situations and these experiences sucked, they molded me and shaped me. If it was for all of the bad that happened this summer, none of the good would have came and taught me.

     I always thought that my previous summers taught me amazing things. I always thought that the best of times always taught me the best of things. And as much as those statements are correct, they limited the truth. What I've learned this summer was that good times can teach me good things, but bad times can teach me unforgettable things, whether good or bad.

I learned who I was this summer.

ISn't

Love isn't said. 

Love isn't seen. 

Love isn't felt. 

Love isn't touched. 

Love isn't screamed. 

Love isn't forced. 

Love isn't rushed. 

Love isn't fake. 

Love isn't hurtful. 

Love is eased. 

Love is witnessed. 

Love is soft. 

Love is soothe. 

Love is whispered. 

Love is sacrifice. 

Love is patient. 

Love is sincere. 

Love is pure. 

Love is unexplainable. 

Love Not Damnation

     My family and I are spending 5 days in Seattle for a family vacation currently. We arrived today and have spent most of the day wandering the wonderful city.

     Tonight happens to be a special night in Seattle. Once a year there is a summer parade that goes through 4th Street starting at 7:30 pm. Thousands of people gather from all over the West Coast to see this parade and advertise businesses and sell foods and drinks and socialize. It's a wonderful time. (Personally, I'm no parade guy, so I'd rather sit in my hotel room with my brother and blog). This is also a perfect chance for people to witness to others and share the gospel of Jesus Christ with one another, in the worst way.

     As my family and I walked down 4th Street to see everyone set up in their chairs and blankets waiting for the parade to start, we begin to see these people holding very large, very bright signs with Scriptures and other Christian-like sayings written on them.

"For the wages of sin is death."
"All have sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God."
"We will all be judged by God."
"Judgement day is coming, are you ready to be judged?
"Sinners who don't repent go to hell."
"Run from your hell-bent life of sin and come to Jesus."
"God will destroy those who don't repent."

And many, many, many more.

     As I'm looking at these signs I can't help but feel so disappointed. I feel so bad. I feel like those who are reading the signs are being let down. I feel like we're failing.

     Is holding signs that scare people into loving Christ what we are coming to? Is our interpretation of sharing the gospel telling people that if they don't repent God will damn them to hell? Is that really what Christ would have preached? Is that how we are to love others? Is that really how God wants us sharing His Son with others?

     Scaring people into loving Christ doesn't lead them to a faithful relationship with Him, if they even convert. Seeing a sign that says that some God is going to damn them to hell for not loving Him doesn't seem too attractive. Christ went up to people and healed them. Loved them. Made them new. Spoke love into their lives. Shared new teachings with them. Cared about them. He didn't say, "Follow me or be damned, the choice is yours." If we want people to fall in love with Jesus then we need to be reflectors of who He is. We need to act like Him and love others like Him, not preach an aggressive, attacking, and demeaning message that makes them have an altered/incorrect view of Him and a hatred for Him.

     We represent Christ by saying we are believers, and when we reveal Him to be some God that hates people who don't follow Him, we are misrepresenting and ruining His name.

     Live a life that represents who Christ is, and people will love Him for who He is.

On The Road Thoughts

     Here I sit, in the back of a moving truck on my way home from Prescott, Arizona. I've spent two weeks here alongside three other musicians as we played worship music for two camps of youth students.

     The two weeks that are now over were long dreamed of. The four of us couldn't wait to play together everyday on a stage for a whole bunch of kids. It's almost saddening to think that they're over and that our summer band trip is done.

     Though all I thought about was playing and how much fun that would be, I ended up receiving a lot more than what I expected experience-wise. I met so many great people and grew stronger in three friendships. I heard stories and learned about the lives of many students. I already knew these two weeks would be a blessing, but I didn't know how much of a blessing.

     There's so much to appreciate, I've learned. There's so much we don't know about each other, no matter how long we've known one another. There's no story that's been repeated. There's so many hearts that have been beaten and bruised but found their way into the Hands of Love. There's so much more than our home towns; than our home churches; than our friend groups; than our own lives. There's so much love to give and so much love to experience. What I've learned these past two weeks is that love is unending and can always be found, no matter where you are. 

Stress

     Being up at camp the past four days has been quite the experience. There's been great people involved in the flow of the camps, great pastors speaking for the students, and just great times shared with each other. One of the biggest things this week has taught me, though, is about stressing out, and putting your trust in God more than anything.

     I like knowing things. I like knowing when the band loads, what songs are going to be played, what time things will start, and who is going to be there. It's just natural. This week has definitely not helped me with knowing those things though. I never find out when the band loads until 30 seconds before we load. I don't know the songs for the morning session until I hear our worship leader start playing on stage as I wait to listen for the tempo. I don't know when session actually starts until I hear loud music thumping in the chapel. And I don't know who is who or who is doing what ever. As irritating as those things can be for me, I've learned to calm myself and let go of the unnecessary stress that it brings me. If no one else is worried about these things, why should I be? They've worked out in the past 3 days, so what's there to worry about? It's been quite a learning experience, especially two out of the four nights.

     The second evening here at camp there was an attack made by the Enemy. In the middle of our evening speakers sermon, the power in the entire camp went out. Not just one building or just the lights, the entire campus of UCYC was out of power, leaving us with just the lights on our phones. The attitude and actions of what this camp did was so incredible, they all pulled out their phones and flash lights, kept their flashes aimed at the ceiling, leaving enough light to see our speaker, and they all hushed up as the pastor continued with his sermon. It wasn't much longer that the power returned and everything went back to normal.

     Last night there was another attempt at an attack. During the beginning of the evening session at camp the main speakers in the building went out. They were all plugged in, power was working and things were all on, but they were not amplifying anything. This meant there was going to be no worship and that the speaker would, again, have no microphone. To solve this our worship leader stood in the middle of the crowd with his acoustic guitar and let the audience lead worship with just his guitar playing. While that was going on, some camp staff set up temporary speakers so that our speaker would have an amplified voice. After his sermon the worship leader was able to plug his guitar and a microphone into the amps so that he was somewhat amplified, and worship was finished.

     It was last night that students made first time decisions to follow Jesus.

     No matter the issues and the problems or the technical difficulties or all of the planning or orchestrated stage activities, God's plan never fails. What we had in mind was not what was going to happen, there were other plans.

Manhood

     A man of God, powerful in Spirit and follower of God's will, spoke to me and many other graduated students this past week. He gave us much advice about different situations in life, how certain things work, and taught us about the process of lasting through the Mosaic Period in our lives. He also taught the men what it means to be a man and how you can know if you are a man. He gave us his opinion, and this was it:

"You become a spiritual man when another person's spiritual life is dependent on you."

     What does that mean to us? How do you know if someone's spiritual life is dependent on me? As he said this, I didn't really know what to think, those two question came up in my head and I didn't know whether or not I was able to be classified as a spiritual man. Until this morning.

     My younger brother walked into my room. I knew he had just been reading his bible for an hour or so now, so I figured he was taking a break. Instead he proceeded to ask me a question about a section of Genesis he was reading. He sat down next to me on my bed and wanted to know what I knew about his question. He seemed my opinion and the little knowledge that I had. 

     As I finished explaining to him, I knew that it was at that moment that I knew what it meant to have someone's spiritual life be dependent on not only me, but on my own spiritual life.

Night Escapes

     I was just in Prescott for some youth camps for the past 3 weeks. As the days went on I met great people and built some awesome friendships. One friendship in particular has left such an impact on me, and I'm going to ramble about it. Enjoy.

     I won't say his name, for privacy sake, but he had the greatest personality. We first met by sitting at a table together at random, and had some small talk about the way some kids danced. We then parted ways, expecting to see each other later in the day, which we did. That night we got to talk a lot about who we were and where we came from. He was from Colorado and was intending on going to Phoenix for schooling at GCU. We didn't talk much more after that night, but the next morning we got to talk some more.

     We continued to always talk and get to know each other on a daily basis. At meals, in between free time, after work was over, before work even started. Whenever we had the chance we united and bonded over anything and everything. From music to bands to schools to books to beliefs, we went on and on about it all. One night, though, we shared a conversation that changed my life.

     It was 10 o'clock pm and curfew was in an hour and a half for him, so we decided to take a night hike up a path into the mountains of Prescott. We reached this spot where there was a rock formation. The rocks served as perfect seats, so we climbed up them and sat down, overlooking the entire town of Prescott. The night sky was beautiful and the stars were shining their brightest. We just sat there then, talking about our futures and our pasts, thinking about what's ahead.

     I then dared to ask him a question that I had not yet asked and was very curious to know, "What do you want to do with your life? What's your plan?" His answer shook me, and made me realize how daring we all need to be. It made me realize how passionate we should be about what we want to do with our lives. It was an answer that you would hear a fifth grader say, but the look in his eyes and tone of voice he had revealed that he was dead serious and had his heart set on this mission. His answer was...

"Dom, I want to change the world."

The Judging Game

"You lie in almost every sentence you speak, that's terrible."

"You disobey everything your parents ask you to do, what kind of son/daughter are you?"

"You NEVER tithe?! You greedy pig."

"You've stolen over $100 in food, that deserves hell."

"Sleeping with your boyfriend/girlfriend is the worst of them all, how can you live with yourself?"

"Gossiping about your friend makes you a hypocrite and an untrustworthy human."

"Drugs are going to ruin your life, there's no way you call yourself a Christian."

     I guarantee you that everyone reading this blog post right now has probably said something along the lines of something above, or close to it. We've all encountered a person who is perfectly relatable to one of those lines above. Want to know the tragic thing? None of those phrases should ever cross our mind or pass our tongue, no matter who that person is.

     A woman made a mistake, a mistake that could possibly take her life. She slept with another man who she was not married to. According to the law, she deserved stoning as her punishment. The religious leaders of that time caught her and dragged her out to an area where a Rabbi was teaching. This Rabbi had been speaking of things that were against what the religious leaders believed and taught, and he was considered a threat. The woman was thrown on the dirt ground in front of this Rabbi, awaiting what might happen next. The men who dragged this woman out to the stoning area spoke to the Rabbi, saying "This woman has committed an act of adultery. According to the law, she should be stoned. What do you have to say about it?"

     This Rabbi picked up a stone from the pile laid before him. He tossed the stone in the air a couple of times above His palm, catching it, and looked at the religious leaders. "If there are any of you who are without sin, you may throw the first stone." As the Rabbi said this, the religious leaders began to slowly, one by one, drop the stones in there hands, and they walked away. The woman was told that she was forgiven of her sin by the Rabbi that day.

This is a story in the Bible of Jesus and the Pharisees (John 7:53-8:11), I suggest you read it.

     Judgement is a trick fo the devil that makes us think that we are in a higher position or in a spiritually higher place than another person. We make up a false reality of that person in our mind and take it as fact. This is something that we as Believers need to end.

     If someone is not a fellow follower, judgement is not allowed to be cast on them. We believe in a completely separate law than them, and our law is not a law that they follow. If they do not follow the law that we follow, we cannot hold them accountable for that law. It is a simple fact. We can't hold a Chinese man accountable for a law that is only in the U.S., simply because he is not under the U.S. law, he's under China's.

     A gay man cannot be judged or ridiculed for his beliefs or sexuality if he is not a believer in Jesus Christ the Almighty. He can't. 

     On the flip side, it is our duty and role as brothers and sisters to keep one another accountable. If my brother, Tom, has a habit of never telling the truth, it is my job to talk to him about it and hold him accountable. This is allowed because we are both under the same law of Jesus Christ. I am not judging him, I am identifying sin in his life and helping him overcome that.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

"When you are too focused on looking down on everyone and judging them for their sins, you cannot gain the courage to look up at the One above you."

Unnatural Revealings

     I went to lunch with one my close friends this week. As we were talking, he was saying how his spiritual life has been thriving when he is reading and in contact with The Lord at home, but it fails to reveal itself when he is out and about in public. He says that he does not know why he can't just apply what he is learning about in his social life. After all of our conversing, he settled that he would just be patient, though nothing is happening.

     Then Friday came.

     As he was at school, he walked past a mutual friend that we have who is also a believer. As he walked past, he heard that friend of ours use a swear word in a sentence. As our friend said that, he was reprimanded by a non-believing acquaintance who said, "You're a Christian, you're not allowed to use swear words like that. You're supposed to be better than the rest of us (the non-believing)." As those words came out, my friend went up to the conflict and immediately spat out, "It is by grace with faith that you have been saved, not by deeds, so that none may boast. Though my friend here represents his salvation with his words, he was not given salvation because of his words. Nothing he has done has granted him salvation, but the grace and mercy of God."

     He stood there after saying that in disbelief. He came up to me and told what had happened, and that he had no idea that he was capable of saying that so fluently. He used the words, "It was as if the Holy Spirit put my vocal chords on hold and took over for me with no hesitation." Give Him time while trusting in His time, and He will work through you.

One For Us All

     You just moved into a brand new neighborhood. While moving in, you meet your next door neighbor, Collin, who seems to be a very sweet and gentle man. He's married and has a baby on the way and goes to the local church every Sunday. Whenever you see him, he always has a smile on his face and gives you the friendly neighbor wave as he drives away. He hosts a neighborhood bible study at his house every Wednesday night. All of his Facebook statuses and Twitter posts are about God and are encouraging. From what you can see, Collin is such a great husband who has a passion for God and people. One night however, you wake up to see red and blue lights in your window. You look out to see that there are two police officers walking towards their vehicles with a man in handcuffs. You make out that man to be Collin, your neighbor. Turns out, Collin has been arrested for physically abusing his wife for years.

     Collin was able to wear a mask. Being a Christian isn't about how well you can put on your masks. Being a Christian isn't about how decorative you can make those masks. Being a Christian isn't about living multiple lifestyles. Being a Christian isn't about playing an act.

     Being a Christian is all about where your heart is at.

It doesn't matter how you make yourself look,

or how many Jesus statuses you post,

or how many bible verse pictures you post,

or how many bibles you own,

or how many verses are highlighted in your bible,

or how many different churches you go to,

or how many worship songs you can play,

or how many Greek and Hebrew words you know,

or how many friends you have,

or if you have the Lord's prayer memorized,

or how many Christian tattoos you have,

or how spiritually gifted you think you are,

or how many books you've read,

or how knowledgeable you think you are,

or if you pretend to know Christ;

If your heart is not all in for The Lord, you are not a follower at all.

Jesus will spit you out of His mouth to prove it.

You can't fake a relationship with Jesus Christ The Almighty.

Unity Over Individuality

     I have recently decided to start studying the Scriptures: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. I have only finished Genesis 1 and The Lord has already revealed to me something so interesting when I finished reading about the creation of man and woman in God's image. I've come across something that can change my life, and anyone else's so they wish to practice it.

     All throughout the six days of God's creating, usually at the end of the day He says that it is good. He does not say that it is good at the end of everyday, because when He says that it is good, that marks the completion of that creation. He may form the creation one day, and then a day or two later He completes it and says that it is good. That is what happens when He creates the waters on the second day, but completes them with living creatures on the fifth day. When it is complete, it is good. Look through Genesis chapter 1 with me to see:

Verse 4: God saw that the light was good...

Verse 10: ...and God saw that it (creation of seas and earth) was good.

Verse 12: ...and God saw that it (creation of vegetation on earth) was good.

Verse 18: ...and God saw that it (creation of the two luminaries to govern night and day) was good.

Verse 21: ...and God saw that it (creation of living creatures in the sea) was good.

Verse 25: ...and God saw that it (creation of living creatures on earth) was good.

But now look at this verse:

Verse 31: And God saw all that He had made, and behold it was very good.

     At the end of God's creating, everything was not good, but it was very good. Why is that so? Everything else was good, but when all was completed it was very good. This signifies something, but what is it? Through deeper studies and the reading of commentaries, I have drawn a conclusion to this slight addition of one word.

     Everything that God has made was and is good, that won't change. When God says that all that He has made was very good, that doesn't place the things He made previously made not as good, instead it changes how we should view them. All things are good in themselves, but in combination, they are very good. God's sun and moon, sea and land, man and woman were all good, but when they were all complete and in existence with one another, they were very good. Try looking at it from a modern perspective. When bad things happen, like trials, it stinks. We only see the trial and only see what is happening, and it isn't good. However, after everything plays out, whether it's in one day or one year, we see the reason behind that trial, and it is very good. You see, all things are good, whether or not we believe them to be, but when all is played out and we see the end picture of it all, it is no longer good, but very good. Pain is good, we just can't see it until it unfolds and reveals itself to be very good in the end. Trials are good, we just refuse to look deeper into them until we realize what they were there for. Trials, pain, death, failure, it's all good individually, but when combined with lessons and teachings and experiences, they combine to be very good.

     All things are good when individual; all things are very good when in combination.

Handling Pain

     I'm currently reading through Lamentations in the Bible and have found it to be one of my favorites. It is one of the more upsetting books in the Old Testament, seeing as it is 5 poems of Jeremiah grieving the destruction of Jerusalem by the Babylonians. Through chapters 1, 2, and half of 3, Jeremiah is using metaphors and figurative language to describe how he is feeling and how his people are feeling after being invaded and destroyed. Up until verse 21 of chapter 3, though, he starts looking positive. Here is what he says:

"Yet this I call to mind

and therefore have hope:

Because of the Lord's great love we

are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, 'The Lord is my

portion;

therefore I will wait for him.'

The Lord is good to those whose

hope is in him,

to the one who seeks him;

it is good to wait quietly

for the salvation of the Lord.

It s good for a man to bear the yoke

while he is young."

     I know it is kind of long, but right here Jeremiah gives us a prime example of how he grieved the destruction of Jerusalem and how we ought to grieve and handle pain. It's practically spelled out for us. Let's first go through exactly what Jeremiah was going through, and how he then reacted.

     Jeremiah was a prophet who was warning Israel of an impending doom coming for them if they do not repent. The Lord spoke through him to try and reach out to the Israelites and convict them so that they would repent of their ways. Israel, however, disobeyed and ignored what Jeremiah had to say. They were then invaded by the Babylonians and left for dead. They had no food, no homes, no water, nothing. Children were dying and people were lying in the dirt roads fainting from dehydration. This killed Jeremiah to see his people punished and kicked down like this, but he knew it was because of their sinful ways. He watched the parent punish the child first had right here, as God punished Israel, but he did not curse God.

     Instead, Jeremiah looked to the bright side of things. As you can see above, he says that because of God's great love, we were not consumed. In other words, because God was so loving, He did not wipe us off of the face of the planet in that attack. He continues to say that God is good to those who have hope in Him and that it is good to wait for Him. What does that mean? What I can take from it, is that waiting for The Lord does not mean cursing Him and being angry at God when tragedy happens. Waiting for Him is understanding that this bad is happening for a reason, and that we can't see the big picture; so instead of cursing Him and being ticked off, we should understand that everything happens for some type of reason, whether or not we understand it or see it, there is purpose behind pain, and the best we can do is wait for God to reveal what He has planned. Seek God in times of trouble, and you'll slowly start to see the bigger picture unfold. Grace and peace.

The Lion and the Kitten

     So today I gave a message at my school about fearing God and what that really looks like to us. What I'm basically going to do is just give that message to my blog now, so that I have both my in person audience and my virtual audience up to date with what my message was about! Let's dive into it.

     I feel that the church today (building wise) focuses on the feminine nature of God, and kind of puts away God's masculine traits. For example, we all have been preached to about God's love, how it is everlasting and that because of it, Jesus died for us. Nothing can separate us from that love of God. We've also heard about God's grace and how undeserving we are of it. Rarely, though, do we speak about God's severity. God's severity is so important, that we are even told to fear it! Well, how are we supposed to fear God? And what exactly is His severity? We'll go into that.

     God's severity is so glorious and so wondrous, that we as humans sometimes mistake it as misfortune and painful. God's severity comes from His power to judge all and His power to bring justice to His world. An example is that in the Old Testament, God's severity was revealed when He commanded the genocide of millions of Canaanites. Now, obviously to us, that was a little painful to hear/read/know about. However, that plan was much needed in order for God's plan to fully be revealed to Israel. The same happens in our lives, just maybe not as severe. We may go through something like a car accident, a bad break up, maybe a death in your life, or something else that I haven't mentioned. Either way, we need to start loving God for His severity and His just, rather than being angry at Him when we can't even see the full picture of what is really going on.

     Now the main point: fearing God. Fearing God is not being terrified of Him; fearing God is not being too scared to pray to Him; fearing God is not cowering at the thought of Him. Fearing God is paying Him respect and giving Him praise for what He has, can, and will do. Fearing God is loving His grace and appreciating His mercy, while loving Him when death happens and when pain is amongst us. Fearing God is loving who He really is, and not loving what we want Him to be. Too often do I hear people only loving God because of certain good things about Him. What about the God described above who killed those Canaanites? Don't you love and appreciate God for that too? In order to truly love God, we need to learn to love everything about Him, not just what we want to love.

     Another way to talk about it is in Matthew. Jesus tells His disciples not to fear men, for they can only kill the body. Instead, we should be fearing God who can destroy both the body and the soul in hell. He's not telling us to be afraid of God and not love Him because He has that power, rather, He is telling us to respect God and go to unimaginable lengths for Him. Don't worry about what other people will say or do, the least they can do is kill you. God deals with our eternity. Fearing men and not faring God is like running away from the kitten and slapping the lion across the face: it's stupid.

     These are just some thoughts that I've had as I've gone through my study in Matthew. I pray that something that was typed hit hard and that we all begin to truly love and fear God for who He is, and not who He isn't. Grace and peace!

It Has Been A While!

     As the title says, it has been quite a while since my last post on blogspot. I've been very busy with things going on with my church as well as my future with my education and haven't placed blogging as a priority. However, I'm happy to say that I will be doing my best to continue this blog I've started.

     Lots of changes have been going on in my life, far too many to go through and explain all in one blog sitting, so I won't bore you. I want this blog post to have a purpose though, so here's some food for thought before you finish reading.

     I'm currently reading  book titled, "The Power of the Prophetic Blessing" by Pastor John Hagee. The book explains the power of the blessings that The Lord has placed on Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the three fathers, and how their blessings received affect us as believers and how they can change our lives. Later on in the book, Mr. Hagee begins to explain to his readers a type of doctrine and theology called Replacement Theology. If you do not know what it is, I encourage you to do your studies on it. I will give you a basic idea, though.

     Replacement Theology is the belief that the church body of Jesus Christ has replaced the Jews and people of Israel as God's chosen people. Replacement theology is taught among many Christian churches today and there are many Christ followers who believe this theology to be true. Before you develop your own opinion, just allow me to explain some things.

     God made a promise to Abram (Abraham's name before he entered God's covenant by circumcising himself) in Genesis that goes as follows,

"I will make you into a great nation,

and I will bless you;

I will make your name great,

and you will be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you,

and whoever curses you I will curse;

and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you."

     Christians didn't exist then. Jesus had not yet died for the sins of mankind at this point. It was just dialogue from God to Abram. God blessed Abram, saying that he will be a great nation. That nation was and still is Israel. Israel was and still is God's chosen and blessed people. God promised this and even made a covenant with Abram about this. If the church was to come along and replace Israel, that would make God a liar, and would make His word untrue and unfaithful. That would mean that God's promises can be broken and that the promise He made to Abram turned out to be a lie.

     God is not a liar, nor will He ever be. In fact, He can't lie. (Hebrews 6:18). The church was not formed to replace Israel as the "new" chosen people. The church is an example and physical representation of God's mercy and grace to the Gentiles. Without the Jews, God's chosen people, Christianity would never be capable of existing.